don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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