Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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