I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize
