"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
