one might say we're banned from that church
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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