upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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