so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Rumble strips road head = magical
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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