I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
