OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
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