Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Randomize
