You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
