It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
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