my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
