Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
false alarm, still single
Randomize
