weddingsv make me drug and hornr
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
