Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
