For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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