You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
