Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
