For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Randomize
