I think I am morally bankrupt
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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