He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
