from now on my penis is your penis
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Randomize
