YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
