grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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