this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
