Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Randomize