The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
