i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
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