I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
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