Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Randomize
