I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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