Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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