She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize