Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
