He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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