so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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