Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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