You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
