so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
