I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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