if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
