Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
