I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
