You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
