I'm so fucking centered right now
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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