How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
nutella sex= disaster
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
