I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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