well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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