So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
