I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I'm gonna fight the coyote
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