im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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