i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Randomize
