i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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