Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
