**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
