I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
