literally had 100 drinks last night.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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