Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Randomize
