can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
