Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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